I miss the OLD, HAPPY me..

Do you ever get that feeling where you don’t want to talk to anybody? You don’t want to smile and you don’t want to fake being happy. But at the same time you don’t know what is wrong either. There isn't a way to explain it to anyone. All you want in the world is to be alone.

I am experiencing it and all I feel is staying in the bed and not going anywhere, I quit my job because I don’t feel like going there, I don’t talk to my friends anymore, I don’t go out, I just stay in the house and sleep, I lost my appetite also. Even at home I just lay on my bed the whole day. When someone ask what is wrong with me I say that I don’t want to talk about it. Actually, I do, but I am afraid of people’s reaction, I feel like they will not treat me the same way they do now. I just don’t understand what I should do. No amount of sleep in the world could cure the tiredness I feel.

I am not depressed. I get anxious over the NORMAL things like tests, presentations, first dates, whatever. And then on small mistakes I feel like I have done a big crime and then i get anxious about being anxious but there is not even a thing to be anxious about. The worst part is I get frustrated because of it and I just keep on finding out searching over the internet whether the symptoms I have is of anxiety or something else. I remember I used to keep myself busy for like 14 hours a day, I ended up having no life at all. Now I don’t do anything and then I feel guilty that i wasted my time and it gives me panic attack and i feel powerless. I overanalyze everyday interactions. I stay at night for hours doing nothing just thinking about something or the other. I can come up with the worst scenarios in my mind.

“ I don’t know where to go from here, I don’t even know who I am anymore”